Ask The Pope

Dear Pope:

Our workers are getting restless and making noises wanting a pay rise. I've told the bunch of sorry-arsed pathetic excuses for employees that they should be thankful they have a job at all in these tough economic conditions and to stop whining as there is still 5 hours to go of their 14 hour shift and if they keep whining then I'll ban morning tea as well. Just like I banned lunch.

It's troubling me so much that it's put me off having a glass of Camus Cognac Cuvee 3.128 whilst at work.

Pope, I know your lot have had lots of experience with Inquisitions and putting the fear of god into people so, can you advise me how best to quell this proletariat selfish disquiet.

FFS!! They even want me to supply the toilet paper!!!!

Yours
An Australian Small Business Owner
(The Backbone of the Country)

yep, a good question and I'm glad you asked small business owner.
What you need is some kind of blackmail hold over each of your employees.
What I would do is install a confessional box in the lunch room and make it mandatory for employees to confess their sins before receiving their pay.
And also reward those that confess the most useful blackmailing material by presenting a staff sinner of the month award and placing it in a prominent position to make the non-winning employees envious.

The Pope wrote:yep, a good question and I'm glad you asked small business owner.
What you need is some kind of blackmail hold over each of your employees.
What I would do is install a confessional box in the lunch room and make it mandatory for employees to confess their sins before receiving their pay.
And also reward those that confess the most useful blackmailing material by presenting a staff sinner of the month award and placing it in a prominent position to make the non-winning employees envious.

You forgot to mention it would be recorded both visually & audio in case of future uprisings so it can be held against them

Dear Pope, As shop steward of " Wheel Wright & Body Builders Union " It is my solemn duty to inform you that 'Small Business Owner' One Monty P Parinoid is in violation of rule 223 sub section 189c clause 11. of the factories act of 1918, as implemented by the 'Master Coach Builders' Factories act. Which states that no employer shall require an employee to work more than 14 days straight without a lavatory break. The act clearly stipulates that in any 15 hour shift an employee shall be entitled to three separate 2 minute breaks for no1's and a further five minute break for no 2s at the discretion of the Workshop Forman. The act further requires that the employer shall provide a suitable paper issue of not less than 3 inches x 3 inches to complete the process. As an aside I am informed that 2 tables have been removed from the workers lunch room and a large oak confessional box installed.This is seen by the union to be a total abuse of workers privacy. I would so appreciate your input Your Grace as i am aware that you have always been a champion of the ordinary people.
Yours Sincerely,
Hubert T Ramsbottem Esq.
By Hand.

Dear Mr Shop Stewart

May I just call you Stewart? You appear to have stumbled upon the wrong forum. The forum you are seeking is located at http://forums.silverstackers.com/index.php If you follow this link you will be able to contact that forums resident Labor spokesperson, one Mr BIG AD. I'm sure he will be able to point you in the right direction.

This forum is solely for the discussion of conspiracy theories and any reference to any Acts of Parliament or Union Sponsored Terrorist Acts, or Bodily Acts (ie number 1's and number 2's) are OFF TOPIC!!!!!

Yours

An Australian Small Business Owner
(The Backbone of the Country)

PS The "oak" confessional provides more than adequate provision for privacy
PPS And as if I'd pay for a real oak confessional. It's laminate.
PPPS And if they want "suitable issue of paper", they'll find an adequate supply in this "oak" confessional.
PPPPS And being a financial member of the Australian Green Party, the "suitable issue of paper" is of course, recycled.

Thats it STOP WORK everyone OUT Thats It.

Dear Pope, I await your reply, with baited breath!!!

Dear The Pope

I need your advice on how to dispose of an obnoxious workforce and a particularly obnoxious Union organiser named Stewart. She has all the hallmarks of a lesbian, and I do not mean the beautiful, attractive, Portia de Rossi style of lesbian, more the face like a dropped meat pie, dwarf road kill type.

Should I harbour angst toward this most unfortunate of god's creations - an ugly lesbian or should I turn the other cheek and try to accommodate her Butch characteristics. After all if she was not a lesbian, she would still be able to pick up a stray dalliance here and there every once in a while, because there are enough men in this world willing to ignore a woman's beauty or lack of it just to get their end in. But, women are far more discerning about their sexual partners. But I digress.

Back to my question The Pope, you and your ancestors have a long history of disposal methods and so I turn to you for some Immaculate Guidance your Grace. Currently they are all locked in the old lunch room - which is not the lunch room any more, as I banned lunch. The din and cacophony emanating from the rabble is upsetting my Shitzu, Clarissa.

Yours
A Small Business Owner
(The Backbone of the Country)

I let the Irish brotherhoods control the unions for me tethlon.I'm not really sure what you want me to do , as I got bored halfway through reading your request.
I'll get brother Francis give them a call after he has finished his private instruction of the vienna boy's choir.
As far as how to deal with the union rep, small business owner- the usual way I'm afraid . A bribe. In this case perhaps a gift certificate for some plastic surgery.
If she still doesn't come around try to woo her with the iron maiden. One of our favourite persuasion devices.

The Pope wrote:I let the Irish brotherhoods control the unions for me tethlon.I'm not really sure what you want me to do , as I got bored halfway through reading your request.
I'll get brother Francis give them a call after he has finished his private instruction of the vienna boy's choir.
As far as how to deal with the union rep, small business owner- the usual way I'm afraid . A bribe. In this case perhaps a gift certificate for some plastic surgery.
If she still doesn't come around try to woo her with the iron maiden. One of our favourite persuasion devices.

Well just for starters could I suggest you go fuck yourself, you arrogant prick. If I ever find myself in rome with time on my hands, I'll drop by and rip yer fuckin head off and then shit in the hole. As for that other spastic cross dressing arsole, the two of you fuck wits are a disgrace to the fucken forum.

There now, they'll think twice before they short change me again.

Tethlon wrote:

The Pope wrote:I let the Irish brotherhoods control the unions for me tethlon.I'm not really sure what you want me to do , as I got bored halfway through reading your request.
I'll get brother Francis give them a call after he has finished his private instruction of the vienna boy's choir.
As far as how to deal with the union rep, small business owner- the usual way I'm afraid . A bribe. In this case perhaps a gift certificate for some plastic surgery.
If she still doesn't come around try to woo her with the iron maiden. One of our favourite persuasion devices.

Well just for starters could I suggest you go fuck yourself, you arrogant prick. If I ever find myself in rome with time on my hands, I'll drop by and rip yer fuckin head off and then shit in the hole. As for that other spastic cross dressing arsole, the two of you fuck wits are a disgrace to the fucken forum.

I wish you would say what you really think i hate it when people beat around the bush .

Stop avoiding the issue & give us a straight answer !!!!

FREE SPEECH wrote:



Well just for starters could I suggest you go fuck yourself, you arrogant prick. If I ever find myself in rome with time on my hands, I'll drop by and rip yer fuckin head off and then shit in the hole. As for that other spastic cross dressing arsole, the two of you fuck wits are a disgrace to the fucken forum.

I wish you would say what you really think i hate it when people beat around the bush .

Stop avoiding the issue & give us a straight answer !!!![/quote]

People should'nt fuck with me ,when i've been on the singing syrup.

Tethlon wrote:

FREE SPEECH wrote:



Well just for starters could I suggest you go fuck yourself, you arrogant prick. If I ever find myself in rome with time on my hands, I'll drop by and rip yer fuckin head off and then shit in the hole. As for that other spastic cross dressing arsole, the two of you fuck wits are a disgrace to the fucken forum.

I wish you would say what you really think i hate it when people beat around the bush .

Stop avoiding the issue & give us a straight answer !!!!

People should'nt fuck with me ,when i've been on the singing syrup.[/quote]
Never heard it called singing syrup. Thanks i'l use that

Whats going on with the quote button its putting the quoted text with the reply & not in the quoted piece ?

No its easy when ya know how.

Tethlon wrote:No its easy when ya know how.

is it ?

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Tethlon wrote:No its easy when ya know how.

is it ?

Its working again did u fuck it up ? lol oh well its fixed now

Like the new look keep up the good work

Dear The Pope

Forget Free Speech and that fag tehlon, what the frigg have you done to the website. It looks different. I hate different. I wear the same clothes now as what I wore when I was 23. I have the same haircut as when I was 23. I drive the same fucking car. I have sex with the same woman. I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ Thethlon, screw you TROLL!!!

admin why have I got a big ad on my screen saying "your logo here"
I want this fixed chopchop

Dear The Pope

Why has tethlon got a large appendage hanging from her forehead?

Yours

Free Speech and broomstix

tethlon has usurped my admin powers
or maybe it was free speech
And they're like bulls in a china shop
after everything falls apart it, they'll be bgging me to take the reigns again

dont change my witty birthday greeting in the admin experiment

Let them play TP, it will help them learn and mature.

Paranoid wrote:Let them play TP, it will help them learn and mature.

Don't count on it pubes!