SHTF ESSENTIALS

Ive got a slingshot

Seriously i have one in my fishing bag & im a crack shot with it .You can knock a medium size bird off a branch at 20 metres . The one with surgical rubber & the wrist support. with some spare rubbers they get old & perish then break.

I also have a magnifying glass If all else fails at least i have a chance at fire & food.

We all talk about guns & things what if it breaks or your ammo gets wet . Good luck trying to find a gunsmith Ive used wet ammo & it still works to a point but if it didnt a slingshot is better than throwing rocks at something.

A heavy duty good quality knife with at least a 10 inch blade & a machete are also a must have .imo

This topic should be in the religion section under David & Goliath.

Wrist support ones are banned in Qld!! So we probably shouldn't talk about them, or guns, or blowpipes

Paranoid wrote:Wrist support ones are banned in Qld!! So we probably shouldn't talk about them, or guns, or blowpipes

Better pull yer finger out shiney, that post counts looking a bit tatty.

Right. I'll be detailing here a number of videos that offer advice for SHTFers. No doubt this will become the most popular thread on this site, and will also become the most popular forum on the whole Interweb, so if you can't log on in the future because of all the traffic, well that will just plain suck - but it won't be my problem and neither will I give a shit because I haven't forgotten how nobody (Except The POop) came to my rescue when I had that foreign language difficulty, and now someone's changed my username AND I RECKON I KNOW WHO DID IT.

Video 1:
Click here

Should that be who did it or who done it?

Oh yeh, your video link didn't work

Dogmatic wrote:Should that be who did it or who done it?

Oh yeh, your video link didn't work

Worked for me, try it again.

BTW, nice avatar………..NOT!!!!!

Parasite wrote:

Dogmatic wrote:Should that be who did it or who done it?

Oh yeh, your video link didn't work

Worked for me, try it again.

BTW, nice avatar………..NOT!!!!!

Thanks

Video is working now. Great SHTF tip. Very easily lost survival skill.

Parasite wrote:

Dogmatic wrote:Should that be who did it or who done it?

Oh yeh, your video link didn't work

Worked for me, try it again.

BTW, nice avatar………..NOT!!!!!

If it was me I'd be looking for hidden camra's, the pope's up to nooooo good.

After having been inundated by text messages from 16 year old schoolgirls for more videos on how to survive The Apocalypse, I thought I'd better ignore them, put my clothes back on and post a proper video here:

Tip 2:
Using an orange to MAKE fire!!!!!!

Parasite wrote:After having been inundated by text messages from 16 year old schoolgirls for more videos on how to survive The Apocalypse, I thought I'd better ignore them, put my clothes back on and post a proper video here:

Tip 2:
Using an orange to MAKE fire!!!!!!

Thats why they call it burnt orange!

The zombie hordes aren't going to sit idly by waiting for you
to get your orange lit.

Dogmatic wrote:The zombie hordes aren't going to sit idly by waiting for you
to get your orange lit.

Show some faith froggie boy. It doesn't take that long to light one. I haven't tried it myself, I'll wait until the SHTF, but I'm sure it's not that hard.

Now here's a good little trick to learn. Again, I couldn't be bothered practising, I'll just wait until I need to use the skill, but with all the talk about making stashes, stocking up on essentials, it occurred to me it would be cheaper to encourage your neighbours to do it, and then when the zombie apocalyptic hordes are descending - break into your neighbour's stashes. Don't forget to take your orange candle with you so you can see in the dark.

Well That was pretty easy. Don't think I will bother locking the doors any more.
I think I'm up with your plan. I'll Stack some oranges.

footycard's tongue in bum cheek post "SHTF" has inspired me. I wish to purchase this. 7.5 tonnes of get-the-fuck-out-of-my-way-nigger.



Sorry, probably can't say the "n" word here, even if it is said as a satirical take upon white dominated society.

That is some serious get the fuck out of my way automobile.

Don't think many are going to argue with that.

I like it coz it's blue

Dogmatic wrote:That is some serious get the fuck out of my way automobile.

Don't think many are going to argue with that.

Actually it's Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My-Way-Zombies

Apparently you need Police approval to amour your vehicle. And by "armour" I mean bullet proof it. I was thinking of importing an armoured car (ie just an average looking vehicle but had been bullet proofed) from Colombia, but my wife pointed out …. ummm …. Colombia …… customs…..?????

And I thought, oh yeah, that's right.

I'm thinking of starting a shelf armoured delivery company. Just buy the vehicle but not actually use it. FFS, as if I'd be any good delivering gold and money securely - I'd squeal like a schoolgirl seeing a snake if a Bandido or Hells Angel confronted me.

It may come prefitted with more than just armour plating.

What would you call your precious metalz delivery service?

Dogmatic wrote:It may come prefitted with more than just armour plating.

exactly the point my better half was referring to.

Whenever I buy fish food to feed my fish, or cat food to cook up for my kids I keep the little satchels that sometimes come with the product. You know the little silicone bags like what is in sports shoes, and I put them in the safe what is buried in the ground with my pandas.

It helps to prevent white spots.

And zombies don't like it - they also don't like mothballs I'm told.

If I have an excess of little silicone bags I put them on ebay.

Top anti Zombie tip, hadn't heard that one before.
Thanks m8

Dogmatic wrote:Top anti Zombie tip, hadn't heard that one before.
Thanks m8

Here's another tip, don't eat em.

Mate you can say nigger all you like ,just dont say abo