Survival tips

i was out in the bush today looking for gold and almost trod on a black snake who was sunbaking in my path.
By sheer chance I involuntarily screamed like a schoolgirl, and noticed that this scared the hell out of the snake and saved the day.

Admin wrote:i was out in the bush today looking for gold and almost trod on a black snake who was sunbaking in my path.
By sheer chance I involuntarily screamed like a schoolgirl, and noticed that this scared the hell out of the snake and saved the day.

No no no, You put salt on there tails, my dad taught me, they become such a tasty morsel they consume them selves.

Tethlon wrote:

Admin wrote:i was out in the bush today looking for gold and almost trod on a black snake who was sunbaking in my path.
By sheer chance I involuntarily screamed like a schoolgirl, and noticed that this scared the hell out of the snake and saved the day.

No no no, You put salt on there tails, my dad taught me, they become such a tasty morsel they consume them selves.

They would be easy & safer to catch with a mouthful of their own arse.

Survival Tip number 2:

While bushwalking in Tasmania recently on my holiday with my darling wife I craved some sustenance. So upon returning to camp I enquired as to what the evening's digesteur would be. She whence replied:

"Roasted pumpkin with d'Entrecasteaux Channel coast blue cheese, shoulder of Dorper lamb from Bruny island, caramelised baby carrots and a selection of greens." I can post an image on that other forum if anyone is interested. No I can't, GD has gone

My survival tip? Take a chef camping.

Ok we might aswell give some decent info ;
My main thing i have in my fishing/shooting bag for survival is a couple of cigarette lighters & magnifying glass to start a fire ..Some 50lb line that ive never used for fishing but is good for tying stuff together/hanging whatever we caught/shot from trees.to bleed or just keep out of the ants.

FREE SPEECH wrote:Ok we might aswell give some decent info ;
My main thing i have in my fishing/shooting bag for survival is a couple of cigarette lighters & magnifying glass to start a fire ..Some 50lb line that ive never used for fishing but is good for tying stuff together/hanging whatever we caught/shot from trees.to bleed or just keep out of the ants.

I don't know about you FS, but the "screaming like a shoolgirl if you see a snake" and "always take a chef camping" were 2 very useful tips. Can't see how 50lb fishing line helps if you see a snake or crave sustenance.

Paranoid wrote:

FREE SPEECH wrote:Ok we might aswell give some decent info ;
My main thing i have in my fishing/shooting bag for survival is a couple of cigarette lighters & magnifying glass to start a fire ..Some 50lb line that ive never used for fishing but is good for tying stuff together/hanging whatever we caught/shot from trees.to bleed or just keep out of the ants.

I don't know about you FS, but the "screaming like a shoolgirl if you see a snake" and "always take a chef camping" were 2 very useful tips. Can't see how 50lb fishing line helps if you see a snake or crave sustenance.

Obviously never been shooting . But i agree with the screaming like a schoolgirl part .One of my mates done that when we were out only it wasnt a snake he just seen the long grass shuffling coming towards us & he literally squeeled & jumped back 4 feet . It was a bandicoot Talk about taking the piss out of him for weeks over it . The look of sheer terror was hilarious

Umm, your point??

Paranoid wrote:Umm, your point??

Whats wrong did princess get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning ? Hungover ? Get a knockback ?

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Paranoid wrote:Umm, your point??

Whats wrong did princess get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning ? Hungover ? Get a knockback ?

I see you edited your post smartass

You'll need more than tips now the cranky scots on board, but you asked for some action.

Paranoid wrote:

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Paranoid wrote:Umm, your point??

Whats wrong did princess get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning ? Hungover ? Get a knockback ?

I see you edited your post smartass

? I edited because i hit the send button without any text in it it was a blank post didnt edit anything else . Are you having hallucinations ? I think you better stop eating the food at cafe de dizzy .Where you get a headache & free shock treatment when they dont like your haircut.

If you can't scream like a schoolgirl, I don't advocate taking a schoolgirl into the bush with you as a survival tip. Unless you're a priest it might get you in some trouble

Whilst walking through the good ole Aussie bush 2 days a go my wife and I came across a snake. And then it hit me. If you ate and ate and ate, like the 'supersize me" guy, well, when the apocalypse arrgh arrives, if you got like 110kg of fat on you, then you can just hole up for 3 or 4 months and you don't have to worry about eating or killing.

Survival Tip No. 3: Eat up big. Now!!!!!!! Your life depends on it! I've got a slogan, I'm gonna get bumper stickers made.


Group buy?

Paranoid wrote:Whilst walking through the good ole Aussie bush 2 days a go my wife and I came across a snake. And then it hit me. If you ate and ate and ate, like the 'supersize me" guy, well, when the apocalypse arrgh arrives, if you got like 110kg of fat on you, then you can just hole up for 3 or 4 months and you don't have to worry about eating or killing.

Survival Tip No. 3: Eat up big. Now!!!!!!! Your life depends on it! I've got a slogan, I'm gonna get bumper stickers made.

"Survive the apocalypse.
FATTEN UP YOU FUCKER!"

Group buy?

What ever you say Big Boy.

Tethlon wrote:

Paranoid wrote:Whilst walking through the good ole Aussie bush 2 days a go my wife and I came across a snake. And then it hit me. If you ate and ate and ate, like the 'supersize me" guy, well, when the apocalypse arrgh arrives, if you got like 110kg of fat on you, then you can just hole up for 3 or 4 months and you don't have to worry about eating or killing.

Survival Tip No. 3: Eat up big. Now!!!!!!! Your life depends on it! I've got a slogan, I'm gonna get bumper stickers made.

"Survive the apocalypse.
FATTEN UP YOU FUCKER!"

Group buy?

What ever you say Big Boy.

The best way to survive is to stay at home and hide in the attic.

Paranoid wrote:Whilst walking through the good ole Aussie bush 2 days a go my wife and I came across a snake. And then it hit me. If you ate and ate and ate, like the 'supersize me" guy, well, when the apocalypse arrgh arrives, if you got like 110kg of fat on you, then you can just hole up for 3 or 4 months and you don't have to worry about eating or killing.

Survival Tip No. 3: Eat up big. Now!!!!!!! Your life depends on it! I've got a slogan, I'm gonna get bumper stickers made.

"Survive the apocalypse.
FATTEN UP YOU FUCKER!"

Group buy?

If you have 110kg of fat on you chances are you wont be any more than 200 metres from a main road before you collapse into a sweaty overheated pile of celluloid cells

But that's the point, if you're fat you don't have to go anywhere!!!!!!!!! not fat to the point of having to shit and piss yourself or rodents growing in the folds of flab between your legs, just happily and anti-apocalyptically overweight.

Paranoid wrote:But that's the point, if you're fat you don't have to go anywhere!!!!!!!!! not fat to the point of having to shit and piss yourself or rodents growing in the folds of flab between your legs, just happily and anti-apocalyptically overweight.

But... but ....but... i want rodents growing in the folds of flab inbetween my legs

Just lift your game or pay the penalty.

Tethlon wrote:Just lift your game or pay the penalty.

Are you going to ban me ? oh fuck im depressed

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Tethlon wrote:Just lift your game or pay the penalty.

Are you going to ban me ? oh fuck im depressed

No Sweety!

Tethlon wrote:

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Tethlon wrote:Just lift your game or pay the penalty.

Are you going to ban me ? oh fuck im depressed

No Sweety!

Phew !!! that was close i was going to start my own forum in protest

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Tethlon wrote:

FREE SPEECH wrote:

Tethlon wrote:Just lift your game or pay the penalty.

Are you going to ban me ? oh fuck im depressed

No Sweety!

Phew !!! that was close i was going to start my own forum in protest

What a great idea!